Monday, July 31, 2006>
what the fuck. i guess you've already driven me to my grave,im in the coffin already.*knock knock, hello* ? dont be surprised if i die of heart attack one day. do i have to go on my knees? i know you'll see this post. WHAT THE FUCK DIDNT I DO TO NOT SHOW HOW MUCH I LOVED YOU, and to love you? I DID EVERYTHING IN MY POWER. EVERYTHING. YOU'LL JUST NEVER BE MOVED I GUESS. AND YES, I SAID FOREVER. FOREVER. FUCKING GET THAT IN THE HEAD. i guess its gonna be another sleepless night and morning with swollen eyes. you destroyed my ego. you destroyed my life. it was great when it was with you but now you've ruined it.if there was anything i can ever do to make things as they were again, i would. but still, IF IF IF IF IF. would what i do ever make a fucking difference? even if i laid down everything just for you? if there was anyone in my life who'd ever hurt me that bad i didnt think it would be you. but you did. :'( you know i was true. even breaking up would cross his mind, you think he really loves you? you really think so? i'm a guy, i know how a guy thinks.oh, im surprised you liked the poem. still, wouldnt make a difference what. even if i gave you a million roses, or lit the entire playground we used to go to with candles, or the sweetest thing there would ever be, things still wouldnt change would it. i didnt write those poems for nothing. i didnt draw the portrait for nothing. i didnt paint for nothing. i didnt spend my time and money for nothing if it wasnt worth my time. but you are. and i want to be with you. thats it. and the time now is 2.45am, on a monday night. ' tuesday morning ' after we put down the phone. i cant sleep because of YOU. and my eyes hurt. why do i have to breakdown everytime i talk to you. because it hurts, and because you mean alot to me.
and i just remembered something, but i dont know if i should tell you. but i guess you wouldnt believe me, would you. its up to you if you wana believe me. but you know i wouldnt ever ever lie to you. well if you wana know then ask me then.
p.s- thanks Amanda. you've always been there for me. i appreciate it.
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its as if my heart knows your're the missing piece.-
sucide notes and butterfly kisses-
7:37 AM
